Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase.
“I won’t be available.”
Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.
If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:
Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.
Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.
If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else.
But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.
“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”
“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)
“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”
“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”
If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.
I know it sucks we have to talk about this but in light of the fact that Black Panther is coming out this weekend I think it needs to be addressed. The possibility of a shooting happening at a Black Panther screening is very real, seeing as there will be very high populations of people of color going to see this movie.
Here are some tips I learned in school for surviving a shooting, modified a bit to match the setting.
1. TAKE NOTE OF YOUR EXITS. Your first instinct should be to GET OUT if at all possible. If you are near an exit, GET TO IT and run. Call the police and get somewhere safe. Remember, shooters have tunnel vision. If you are lucky enough to be within a shooter’s peripheral vision, you have a good chance of being able to escape.
2. If you are unable to exit the theater, HIDE. Get down under your seats, crawl underneath chairs to get to an exit, whatever. If necessary, smear yourself with blood and cover yourself with a dead body and play dead. I know it’s gross and horrible, but this is something that can save lives. Many shooters are not going to go around shooting dead bodies; their goal is to kill as many people as possible. If you look dead, there’s a chance they won’t shoot you.
3. If you cannot hide and you cannot escape, AMBUSH THE SHOOTER. You need to get a group of people to do this, and I’m not sure how that would work–if you’re going with a group of people you could all agree to jump the shooter if you were near him, or someone could shout “JUMP HIM” in the theater and a group of people would jump him.
This is very effective. A single person WILL NOT be able to withstand a group of four or more people bringing him down, especially if you distract him beforehand by throwing WHATEVER YOU CAN at him.
That means food, popcorn buckets, sodas, purses, bags, WHATEVER. Like I mentioned before, shooters have tunnel vision and will not be expecting objects being thrown at them.
It takes a shooter a certain amount of time to go through the mental process of finding a person, locking that person as a target, aiming, and shooting. Anything you can do to disrupt that process causes that person to start it all over again. DISRUPT THAT PROCESS BY THROWING WHATEVER SHIT YOU CAN FIND AT HIM. In the seconds he has to go through that mental process again, ambush him, get him on the ground, kick his weapon away, and call 911.
If you have any more tips, please feel free to add on. Keep your friends and family close. Stay smart. Stay safe.
The fact that people feel the need to post and share this is so damn sad
It is sad but I think its better to be safe then sorry. It has happened before….
I hate that this is something that people need to worry about, but it needs to be shared.
Reblogging since a shooting happened this week. (I like the ambush idea since that could really prevent more deaths)
Okay, because I’m getting so many anons accusing me of “Ambushing is not a good idea!!” or “Are you even qualified!?!!?” I’m going to link the program that my school is requiring my student body to do. This is a REAL program that (for us, anyways) is taught by our police department, SWAT team members, and our school security guards. The program explains that while attacking the shooter should always be a last resort, it’s effective when used.
According to NCADV, 4 in 10 people have experienced some kind of coercive control from an intimate partner. Sadly, #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is raising much-needed awareness for a widespread problem.
This is disgusting. It really is. I hope that people gain awareness of this issue and their own situation and I really hope that we all find better.
I appreciate the hell out of the women reblogging this. As a survivor of such emotional abuse, I know it’s vital for men to step forward and talk about their experiences. The old “man up” narrative needs to die.
Stop talking and start doing: My Fallout Shelter for my Tumblr blog 