Kingdom Hearts Mean Girls AU

wankersgonwank-blog:

Saïx: how is Xion a member when she’s a puppet?
Axel: ohmygod Saïx you can’t just ask people why they’re a puppet!

Roxas: why is Marluxia’s hair so big?
Zexion: its full of secrets…

Xehanort to Xigbar: “Get in loser. We’re going vessel shopping.”

Demyx: I can’t go out <fake cough> I’m sick.
Saïx: Boo, you whore!

Xion: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish we could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
Saïx:…. She doesn’t even go here!

Demyx: Nice wig, Xaldin. What’s it made of?
Xaldin: Your mom’s chest hair!

Lexaeus: Zexion, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.

Xemnas: raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by Larxene

Marluxia: I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.

Luxord: <reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book> “too gay to function?” 
Xigbar: That’s only okay when I say it!

Zexion: And you can only wear your hair in a pony tail once a week, so I guess you chose today.
Xigbar: …

Zexion: Oh no, I can’t say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.

Ansem the Wise: What are you supposed to be?
Mickey: I’m a MOUSE. DUH.

Vexen: I’m not a regular dad. I’m a cool dad. Right Zexion.
Zexion: please stop talking.

Axel: I think I’m joining Castle Oblivion.
Saïx: No! No, no! You cannot do that. That is social suicide. *Damn*! You are so lucky you have me to guide you.

Axel: <referring to Luxord’s earring> I love it!
Demyx: So fetch!
Axel: What is fetch?
Demyx: Oh, it’s like slang, from… England. 

Vexen: where’s Zexion? 
Lexaeus: he’s out.
Vexen: he’s grounded.
Lexaeus: [surprised] Are they not supposed to be let out when they’re grounded? ?

Roxas: One time Lexaeus punched me in the face… it was awesome.

Larxene: I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch. 

Xigbar: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

Xaldin: Marluxia seems… sweet!
Luxord: Marluxia is not sweet! He’s a scum-sucking road whore, he ruined my life!

Demyx: <talking about Marluxia> I have this theory, that if you cut off all his hair he’d look like a British man. 

Kairi: My grandma takes her wig off when she’s drunk.
Master Xehanort: Your grandmother and I have that in common.

Master Xehanort: Irregardless, ex-vessels are just off limits to Darknesses. I mean that’s just like the rules of Nortisims.

Saïx: Hey!… Are we still in a fight? 
Axel: You still an asshole? 
Saïx: No.I don’t think so.

Ven: why would he do that?
Braig: cause Terra’s a life ruiner. He ruins peoples lives

Roxas: And they have this book, this “Burn Book” where they write mean things about the Organization.
Xion: Well what does it say about me?
Roxas: You’re not in it.
Xion: Those bitches.

Sora: I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And that I couldn’t be happier the series is ending. 

Roxas: So, uh… how was your summer?
Saïx: I got Nort-ed
Roxas: Oh… My summer vacation ended.
Saïx: I win.

Axel: [escorting Roxas down the hall] Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!

Luxord: Marluxia always wins Lord of Castle Oblivion 
Xigbar: Who cares?
Luxord: I care. Every year the the neophytes are sent away from the founding members to CO. And whosoever is elected Lord automatically obtains a deck, and since I am a card user, I would safely say, I care. 
Xigbar: Wow, Lux, you’ve truely out-gayed yourself this time. 

Lea: [while training to become a Keyblade Master] Oh HELL no, I did not leave the Organization for this!

Axel: God. My hips are huge!
Demyx: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Lexaeus: At least you guys can wear halters. I’ve got man shoulders

the-real-keyblade-crafter:

Alright so I finished the organization cards, but I still need your guys’ opinions. Should I just make one of each of these and the other special cards and leave it at that? Or should I make 4 suits using the nobody/heartless/unversed/dreameater symbols?

My dilemma is that I would really like to have a full deck of cards, but having a heartless or any other symbol on a nobody card seems weird to me. If I decide to make 4 suits somehow, then I think I’ll go ahead at change Marly’s number to Jack, Larxene’s to Queen, and Roxas’ to King.

Edit: totally thought marly was number 12. fixed it. this is messing me up a little lol